The Moxie Series: nicoco

How did your interest in the arts begin?

I’ve been interested in art my whole life. In kindergarten I wrote that my dream was to become an artist, because I liked visiting museums and looking at pictures. Children are honest about their dreams, but as an adolescent/young adult I had to work through a lot of self doubt (and I still am!).

你对艺术方面的兴趣是如何开始的？

其实我这一生都对艺术非常感兴趣。在幼儿园使我就会写道我的梦想是成为一名艺术家，因为我喜欢参观博物馆和欣赏画作。孩子们对自己的梦想是诚实的，但是青春期的时候我也不得不经历了很多自我怀疑（现在我仍然是！）。

What does your Asian/Chinese/American identity mean to you?

Broadly speaking, living in Shanghai has forced to me constantly think and rethink my identity as an Asian, American, Asian American, Chinese, Chinese American, 华侨 , and everything in between。

I grappled with estrangement immensely growing up. I was obviously too Asian looking to be unquestionably “American,” but my Asian American friends told me that I was “not really Asian” and “basically white” because I only spoke English at home and my parents were not very strict. Moving to China for college did not provide any escape from this identity crisis, but rather expedited the engagement. Every shopkeeper, taxi driver, and random person on the street felt entitled to know where I was from, and then duty bound to inform me that I did not look American.

Everyone has their own ways of responding to these types of assumptions. I’ve learned to accept I cannot “pass” based on everyone’s standards, whether that is about my nationality, ethnicity, or even sexual orientation. These are labels that are important, but also impart very little information about who I am. I can’t prove to you that I am anything. These experiences have been foundational to me as a visual storyteller, because they remind me to be conscious of stereotypes I might be relying on or perpetuating.  

你的亚洲人/中国人/美国人的身份对你来说意味着什么？

广义上讲，住在上海这件事使我不断思考和反思我作为亚洲人、美国人、亚裔美国人、华人、华裔美国人，华侨的身份以及这些身份之间的事。

我正在努力应对愈加严重的隔阂。显然我曾经太过于“亚洲人”了，并且毫无疑问想要成为“美国人”，但是我的亚裔美国人朋友告诉我，我并不是“真的亚洲人”且“基本上是白人”，因为我只在家里说英语，父母对这一方面也不是很严格。移居到中国上大学并没有让我摆脱身份危机，反而加快了这种接触。每个店主、出租车司机和街上随便的人都觉得自己有权知道我来自哪里，然后有义务告知我我看起来不像美国人。

每个人都有自己的方式来应对这些类型的假设。我已经学会了接受我不能“通过”每个人的标准这件事，无论是关于我的国籍还是种族，甚至性取向。这些标签很重要，但也提供了一点点有关我是谁的信息。我无法向你展示我的所有标签，因为这些都是主观的。这些经历对作为视觉叙事者的我来说都是我构建艺术的基础，因为它们会反复提醒我小心那些我可能有些依赖或永久存在的刻板印象。

What influence has the wide media exposure from One Person City had on your work?

The amount of attention One Person City received was very flattering. The experience has made me consider transitioning more formally into documentary photography, mainly because I do not want to set a bad example on how to act in crises. I believe there is a lot of value in citizen journalism, but when everyone believes their perspective is more important than listening to health organizations or national curfews there is a lot at risk. Just as not everyone can be a front line medical provider during crises, I believe not everyone should be a documentary photographer. It feels a bit too narcissistic and cheesy to say “this is my calling,” but I think this is a role I am able to fulfill.

《一个人的城市》在大众媒体上被广泛传播、曝光对你的工作有什么样的影响吗？

《一个人的城市》受到的关注让我非常高兴。这次的经历使我开始考虑正式地过渡到纪实摄影，主要是因为我不想就如何在危机中行事树立一个坏的榜样。我相信公共新闻行业具有很大的价值，但是当每个人都认为他们自己的观点比听取卫生组织或国家宵禁更为重要时，就会有很大的危险了。正如不是每个人都可以在危机期间成为一线医疗人员一样，我相信不是每个人都是纪实摄影师。如果我说“这是我的使命”，或许会显得有点自恋和俗气，但我认为这是我能够成为的角色。